Dear Matty,

It's February already. The days have gone by and yet the hours seem to linger slowly.  Torturing me cause I miss you.  I'm adapting wonderfully here but it doesn't feel the same without you. Your absence is so missed. I don't hear the sound of your video games or your (very) colorful words when you lose. I don't feel your arms wrap around me when we fall asleep or your breathe upon my cheek in the morning.  Is missing you suppose to hurt this badly?

Everyday I note in my head the places I want to take you (Kep), the cafes that you'll absolutely love (The Shop), and the fun things we can enjoy together (fish massage!).  You would like it here.  Aside from the heat and mosquitoes, the experience has been amazing.  I feel expose and vulnerable but also strong and empowered.  It's as though the experience has forced me to strip myself completely and I'm slowly rebuilding. Layer by layer. Or perhaps it's more along the lines of the caterpillar turning into a butterfly.  I don't know.  I really don't have the answers.

What I do know is that love is the only thing that keeps me going.  We've already witnessed the power of love in the couples we have met and the weddings we have shot together.  Love is such a big deal.  It sustains us, it awakens us, it brings us hope.  I constantly need this reminder.  In December, I went to Siem Reap and shoot a dream wedding, number 52 on my 101 list. It took me six hours on the bus to get there.  I pressed my hands and faced against the window the entire way.  I was that excited.  The woman sitting next to me offered me a taste of fried crickets.  I ate one.  She ate a bag full.  It was interesting.  I met Mary and Hugh.  They are amazing people, Matty. You'd have loved them. You'd have loved the wedding.  We woke up at 4am the day before and watched the sun rise over Angkor Wat.  I still don't have words to describe it.  It was more than I could imagined.  Complete darkness, then this realization that I was at the place that my ancestors built, that Cambodia was once a great empire and then light appearing, and slowly a wash of color.  I was too stunned to take a picture.  I just wanted to soak in the moment.

But really...you would have loved Mary and Hugh. They have hearts of pure gold. I promise to write to you about their wedding in my next letter.  In the meantime stay warm, count your blessings, and know that there's someone on the other side of the world thinking of you.

xoxo

Me